Setting Boundaries To Stay Focused On Your Purpose With Mischelle O’Neal

Jennifer and Mischelle talk candidly about balancing work and family and how boundaries (or lack thereof) affect our ability to reach our goals.

Seeking Satisfaction 007 With Mischelle O'Neal
Seeking Satisfaction
Setting Boundaries To Stay Focused On Your Purpose With Mischelle O'Neal
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Show Notes

I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know Mischelle O’Neal over the last year through Content Camp and her membership in Content Creators Club and she’s a passionate life coach who is all-in on helping women crate the space to follow their dreams and live their fullest, richest lives. So, of course, I had to have her chat with me for this podcast centered around seeking greater satisfaction.

In this episode, Mischelle and I talk about the importance of personal and professional support teams, the give and take of nurturing your most important relationships, and the power of turning everyday tasks into meaningful memories. Our conversation highlights the importance of fundamentally understanding who you are and why you make the decisions you do and the role that knowledge plays in nipping overwhelm in the bud.

Mischelle O’Neal supports women who are searching for more and helps them get it.

We also talk about:

  • Mischelle’s own experience with feelings of overwhelm — how it manifests, how she manages it, and how she has learned to prevent it.
  • Why establishing strong, clear boundaries on your time and energy are critical to your ability to follow through and stick with the commitments you’ve made to yourself and others.
  • How an emergency response plan can help you prevent bad habits from creeping in and pulling you off course or derailing your progress.
  • Her morning ritual of planning the day ahead and the “three things” approach Mischelle uses to stay focused on her goals and get done important work done.

You’ll discover how we get into the creative groove, tune out distractions, and recharge our brains to support our best work — and if you’re anything like me, Mischelle’s reminders about how important self-care is to your success at home and in your work will truly hit home.

I can’t wait for you to listen!

Mentioned Sites, Resources, And Tools:

Get To Know Mischelle O’Neal

Mischelle Smiling And Relaxing On A Couch
Mischelle O’Neal, boundaries strategist and life coach.

Mischelle O’Neal guides, advises, and support women who identify themselves as giving, caring, individuals who are moving into a phase of life where they are empty nesters or becoming an empty nester and are feeling that they need something more in this next chapter. She helps them set radical boundaries so they can thrive in an environment where their passions, personal lives, and professional aspirations can coexist.

As a result of working with Mischelle, these remarkable women develop a more balanced, productive, and fulfilling lifestyle and are able to acknowledge their true value leading to an amazing succulent life they previously thought wasn’t possible for them.

She teaches her signature M.O.N.D.A.Y. Technique™ so they can Master Their Monday and show up as their BEST self.

Be sure to watch Mischelle’s free three-part video series that will help you simplify your life and get the most out of your day. Then, connect with Mischelle on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and LinkedIn.

Extra Minutes Training With Mischelle

To hear more from Mischelle and learn three ways you can simplify your life, become more efficient, finally stop procrastinating, and get the most out of your day, check out the Seeking Satisfaction Extra Minutes Membership.

Seeking Satisfaction Extra Minutes with Mischelle O'Neal

Members receive Extra Minutes bonus training from Jennifer and podcast guests like Mischelle that provide valuable insights and lessons to help you build a better business for only $15/month.

Mischelle’s Extra Minutes bonus training continues the conversation from the podcast, diving deeper into gaining an honest awareness of how you’re spending your time. We cover:

  • The three distractions that are hurting your productivity that you might not even realize are distractions (seriously, this was eye-opening).
  • Why you must create your own emergency response plan for your mindset, what that means, and how you use it.
  • The one thing you can do today to dramatically reduce overwhelm, improve focus, and actually do better work.

Learn More

Conversation Transcript

Mischelle O’Neal:

Let’s think about the GPS. You know, I love those road trips. If the GPS says, make a right at the next corner, turn right now, what do we do? We are quick to obey the GPS. Then why can’t we do the same for ourselves? That’s somebody that doesn’t even know us or care about us. When you understand your values and your beliefs — what’s most important to you — it helps you better stay on track.

Jennifer Bourn:

Welcome to Seeking Satisfaction, a podcast that encourages you to live inspired, embrace imperfection, and seek satisfaction. I’m your host, Jennifer Bourn, freelance business mentor, course creator, and agency owner.

Today, I work with clients I love, do fulfilling work, and have the freedom to live the life of my choosing. But things weren’t always this rosy, which is why this show looks at the systems that power successful businesses and fulfilled lives, going behind the scenes with entrepreneurs, freelancers, and professionals, to discover how they juggle work and life, clients and kids, stress, and unexpected challenges.

If you are seeking greater satisfaction in your work and life, you are in the right place. Today, I’m here with Mischelle O’Neal. She is a certified life coach, and I had a bio prepared for you, but she just nailed her message in our pre-show talk that I’m going to have her introduce herself. Michelle, take it away and tell us what you do.

Mischelle O’Neal:

I am the facilitator of more. I’m a boundaries strategist and a life coach to the living. You know, I support women who are approaching that season in their life, where they’re searching for more. I help them get more.

They’re ready to create the space to fulfill their dreams and embark on the journey of reinventing themselves so they can find meaning and grab opportunities, get results, and wake up excited about their day — and know that they’re enjoying this life that they have. They learn that this is possible, even if they think they don’t have enough time or they’re too busy, or the thought of focusing on themselves is actually paralyzing them and keeping them stuck.

It’s their time and that’s who I help.

Jennifer Bourn:

If anybody ever questions your passion, all they have to do is listen to you say that. I don’t think that I’ve ever heard anyone communicate what they do with more energy and more passion and more conviction. And I am so excited to have you here joining me on the podcast today. Thank you so much for being here.

Mischelle O’Neal:

Oh, I am excited to be here with the Jennifer Bourn. I’m excited. You know that I’m a fan of yours. So, I’m thrilled to be here.

Jennifer Bourn:

Thank you! Now, you are working a full-time job and building a successful business. You’re caring for two sets of aging parents, you have an adult daughter, you’ve got four grandkids — you have got a lot going on and I need to know some more about this. But I want to start with the business end of things.

How do you balance working a full-time job, and building a business, and rolling out programs, and doing the impactful work that you’re doing?

Mischelle O’Neal:

It’s having the support teams that you really need in your life. I always say we have team personal and team professional. There are those that help me in my professional life, like you. When I want to learn things, I want to learn them quickly, so I need people who can teach me stuff quickly and help me quickly. So, I have that professional support team.

But I also have that personal team. Those in my family — my husband, who’s always there helping me see things from a different perspective, my daughter, who is my proofreader and she proofread two of my books because that’s her job. So, it’s having that support team and having that buy-in from your family that’s so important to helping you move forward and get the things done that you need to get done.

Jennifer Bourn:

Speaking of your family, there are many of us that find it a challenge to make time for family and friends and hobbies, just running one business. But you have a full-time job and a business that you’re running. How do you find time for those things outside of work that really light you up?

Mischelle O’Neal:

The buy-in is so important. So, a mixture of the buy-in and the focus. My family, as I said, they really support me. My husband helps take care of the chores. We do the chores and the things around the house that needs to be done together. There are certain things he takes care of and certain things I take care of.

And then there’s that perfect dance that you create, you know, from knowing each other. When I’m busy and I have things that I’m working on, he asks, what are you working on now? What needs to be done? And so, he allows me that space to get those things done. In that same way, I make time for him.

So, one of the things we do is that delicate dance. When it’s his time, when we need time, make time for that date night, or I make sure that I stop at a certain time in the evening so I can spend time with him. Or I’m always asking, is there something particular that you want to do at this time?

When my daughter was still at home, because she’s grown now, but when she was still at home, there were times that I worked full time, my husband was in a high-profile job, so there were always functions and stuff that we had And then my daughter was in sports — she was in school and she was in sports. So, there were times that I showed up at one of her sports events and a long gown and stayed there for 15/20 minutes, watched her game, cheered her on, gave her love, and moved on to the next event.

Jennifer Bourn:

Oh, my gosh. I can picture you standing on the sidelines in a gown, like, I am making this work.

Mischelle O’Neal:

I was in the bleachers with that gown. So, I had to walk up the bleacher steps.

Jennifer Bourn:

Oh, my gosh. That perfectly illustrates though, the drive that when you’re passionate about what you’re doing, you’re going to find a way to make it work, and you’re going to find a way to show up for the people that matter to you. So, if that means going to a sporting event and sitting in the bleachers in that fancy gown on the way to dinner, that’s what you’re going to do.

Mischelle O’Neal:

Exactly. And so my daughter never felt neglected because she knew that we would be there. And at times there are times I showed up at a track meet late, but I was there in time for her event, or just sometimes just to pick her up. But knowing that I made that extra effort to be there for her meant all the things in the world.

And then we had our special moments at home and that’s part of that family buy-in again. It’s doing things together, but getting things done.

As simple a thing as cleaning out the garage, right? Make it a whole day thing. You clean out the garage in the morning. The whole family is there. You get the look at all these cool things that you had forgotten about and now you’re sharing the memories. Oh, remember when we did this? Oh, remember that? You break out in song, you laugh, you have fun.

Jennifer Bourn:

It does make those bad jobs way better.

Mischelle O’Neal:

It does. And then after that’s done, you have a cookout, eat the hamburgers or the hot dogs on the grill. And so, you’ve gotten so much done as a family and you’ve spent that quality time.

Jennifer Bourn:

I love that idea of getting work done together as a family and then celebrating together. When my kids were really little and I had to work a lot — my business was very different back then — we would sit them down and say, “Okay, for the next so many weeks, mommy and daddy are going to be working a lot, probably more than normal. We’re up against a big deadline. But if you can do your homework and you can do your job while we do our job, at the end, we’ll go Disneyland together and we’ll do no work for seven days.”

And getting their buy-in — you have a job, you have homework, and you have things you have to do. We have things we have to do. Let’s all work really hard together… It changed the whole dynamic of the family because we were all working toward the same goal.

Mischelle O’Neal:

Teamwork is dreamwork. I always say. But that works not only within your family, that works in your business, and that works at your job it’s the same thing. There’s something about doing things together and working for that common goal, that common purpose, that is awesome.

That’s why I love working with my clients because together we’re working for a common goal for their lives and so it’s so much better when you’re doing it with someone when you have someone on that journey with you.

Jennifer Bourn:

Now, you help women get out of overwhelm — women who have big dreams. They know they’re destined for more, but life is kind of getting in the way. They’re overcommitted. They’re overwhelmed. They’re putting everybody else first. They struggle to find time to pursue what they’re working on. That is so relatable on so many levels and as much as it’s easy for sometimes us to sit here and say, I got it all figured out.

Sometimes it’s really tough to walk our own talk and practice what we preach, and you shared with me that overwhelm still creeps into your own business and your own life every once in a while. This is something that we’re continually dealing with. How does this show up? Are there certain things that start to happen when you start feeling that overwhelm starting to kick in?

Mischelle O’Neal:

Brain fog. One of the first things you’ll notice is brain fog. That it’s hard to focus on things and you’re thinking your mind is just shooting so fast. And then you stand in the kitchen and you’re like, I know I was in here for something, but I can’t even remember what I was in here for, so you just stand there and try to remember.

And then not only that, there at times my body just shuts down. It’s like, I’m done, I’m done. I shut down and I literally have to back away. So, one of the things that I’ve started doing is cruising.

Now, the reason why I pick cruises is not only that it’s all-inclusive, but also that most times you do not take social media with you. You do not turn on your phone. You’re not watching TV. You’re doing all the things you have wanted to do. You’re going to the comedy club, you’re watching the shows, getting out there in the sun and you’re doing all those things. And that’s for seven days, I don’t take a cruise for less than seven days.

There’s also a point where you notice as a person, when you get around people all day, it usually takes me a few days to recoup from that. And so I have to really gauge, you know, my people barometer or whatever you want to call it. You have to be aware of yourself and then you have to work in alignment with who you are and how you naturally show up.

Jennifer Bourn:

Oh, that’s a really good point because not every strategy or tactic that works for me is going to work for you because we’re different people. We refuel in different ways, right? We recharge in different ways. What causes me overwhelm might be totally easy for you. What causes you overwhelm might be like cake for me.

You’ve got to know yourself first to be able to recognize when those things start showing up. Do you notice consistencies across the women that you work with, scenarios that are happening in their life that are causing kind of that burnout, or that feeling of overwhelm?

Mischelle O’Neal:

One of the things that I’ve heard the most is they don’t want to disappoint other people. And you know, we got to get over it. There’s no other way to say that, but it’s that not wanting to disappoint others — and it’s not necessarily the expectations of others — it’s also the expectations we put on ourselves as the good mom, the good wife, the good coworker, the good friend. And so we’re trying to be there for all these people and we’re not there for ourselves.

And I always say can’t pour from an empty cup. What we’re supposed to do is continually fill our cups so we can serve from the overflow. That’s where we serve best from: the overflow is giving from our abundance and so many times that’s the big issue.

And then not following through. Most of the things I hear women saying is I want to be consistent. And it’s hard to be consistent when we’re putting more on ourselves than we can handle.

One of the things I’ve learned big time is that there are certain parts of the day that I work best on different things. If I have to do writing or that type of cognitive thinking and stuff, it has to be done first thing in the morning.

Then there’s this certain part of the day where my brain doesn’t work well, so that’s when I do email and the mindless tasks and stuff like that. And then there’s a part of the evening where I am on fire with creativity, so that’s the time I do all my graphic work and all the things that need to use my creativity.

And so you have to understand where you shine best during different times of the day and structure your day that way. And that’s why it’s so important to know yourself.

Jennifer Bourn:

I love that you pointed out that the times of day might not always align with the best work that you’re doing — that you have to find out when you’re most creative; when the right time of day for that work is. So many of us get caught in the notion of the typical nine to five because that’s what we were trained to do. Everything in our whole life was training us to grow up and get a job. But nine to five may not be your most creative or most productive time.

Mischelle O’Neal:

No one says when you have to do different things during your day. If I’ve got to write reports, and I know that I shine best in the morning, I shut my door — that’s about saying no and putting boundaries in place — so put a sign on my door and say, do not disturb. When my door is closed, do not disturb me. And you have to be willing to stand up and stand firm on your boundaries.

Jennifer Bourn:

Okay. I want to talk about boundaries a little bit more. Because we’ve talked about overwhelm, of feeling like we need to live up to other people’s expectations, of giving so much of ourselves that there’s nothing left for us. Often, that is a result of not having good boundaries in place.

What do you say to someone who feels always at the mercy of everything else around them and they have not set good boundaries to protect their own kind of wellbeing?

Mischelle O’Neal:

So, I am not time-bound. I am not a time-bound person. I don’t like being structured. And so, for me, one of the things I learned from Michael Hyatt, is three tasks a day. And I took it further.

When you have particular things that you’re focusing on, like, what are the things that you want to accomplish through the year? Per quarter, what are the three big things that I want to accomplish this quarter? And then you say, okay, if I need to accomplish just this quarter, what are the three things that I need to accomplish this month, and this month, and this month. And then you break it down.

Everything I do, there has to be at least one to two things every week to get me moving forward on that. And then each day I break the task down.

Now, if we do that with our lives, when we have a pure plan, when we have our GPS on-point. Then it’s easy to say, if it doesn’t fit, if it’s not getting me where I’m going, it’s easier to say no. Tell your family right upfront.

Like you talked about with your family, these are the things that I have to accomplish that I’m working on. And so just know that if it doesn’t fit in here and when I’m talking about doing your big three. Then, once you get those done, you have won your day and anything else is gravy.

Jennifer Bourn:

I love that. So, I want to go back. We’ve got this idea of these three tasks. We’re breaking down big goals into smaller, more achievable, more doable tasks with a clear plan. So, we know what to do and we’re making consistent progress. How do we hold those boundaries strong so that we don’t let things get in the way and derail us?

Mischelle O’Neal:

When you are driving, so you’re on a road trip, right? And you’re driving down the road and you have to go to the restaurant, and you see the sign and it says Wawa. Okay. Wawa two miles. Do I veer off my path two miles? Or do I wait to see what the next exit is? You wait because I don’t want to go two miles out of the way and get to the next one. It says Wawa: half a mile. You see, you have made the decision to say no to the thing that will get you off track the most and say yes to the thing that’ll just make you get off course for a short bit and put you right back on course.

And that’s what we have to do in our life. You have to take each distraction and decide if it’s worth the sacrifice, whatever that sacrifice. And once you start holding to those, those that love you will start going along. They realize you’re serious.

Jennifer Bourn:

That’s so good. And I think it’s a really interesting thing to point out that it’s about saying no — and not no, just for the sake of saying no, or telling somebody you don’t care — but no to stay focused on your goals and asking that question and evaluating: is this going to get me closer to my goal or is this going to pull me off track? When you know where you’re going, and you have a plan, asking that question all of a sudden, becomes a lot easier.

Mischelle O’Neal:

Let’s think about the GPS. You know, I love those road trips. If the GPS says, make a right at the next corner, turn right now, what do we do? We are quick to obey the GPS. Why can’t we do the same for ourselves? That’s somebody that doesn’t even know us or care about us.

One of the things that mess us up about boundaries is also not understanding why we keep falling into those same patterns. And so, this is one of the big things that I work with my clients on. When you understand your values and your beliefs, and you understand your core foundation — what’s most important to you — it helps you better stay on track.

Now, if you know what Noom is, one of the commercials now is about a young lady who every time she watches TV, she has a bag of potato chips. It’s a learned pattern. So, we have to look at those learned patterns in our life. Understand why it is that we do what we do, and we make that choice to live in it or break it.

Jennifer Bourn:

Oh, my gosh. That’s really powerful. Especially because every choice you make, every decision that you make creates the life that you’re living.

Mischelle O’Neal:

We have the power of choice, and a lot of people don’t get that that is the one thing that nobody can take away from you. No matter what’s going on around you, you always have a choice.

Jennifer Bourn:

Let me ask you this. There are a lot of things that show up to derail even people with the most clarity but there are things that you can do to help stay on track, things that you can put in place to make it easier to honor your commitments and continue to make progress on your goals.

Of course, I’m talking about systems and processes. What kind of systems and processes have you put in place in your business to help you stay on track and reach your goals?

Mischelle O’Neal:

I have a daily ritual that really helps me. Mine is prayer and meditation and prep for my day. That gives me that headspace to start dealing with whatever may come my way.

And one of the things I found out when I don’t take this hour to just put myself in that right space, I’m easier derailed than when I do take the time, because I’ve prepared it. Then after that, there’s my planning. Remember we talked about the big three. Well, I open my planner.

Jennifer Bourn:

I’m old school too. I’m telling you.

Mischelle O’Neal:

It’s the big three. What are the three things that I need to do to win my day? So, after I have my meditation and reflection on what’s important, then I do my planning. And after I do my planning it’s just about focusing. You know, it isn’t always the way it seems, we just have to find a way to see it better or different.

We just have to be able to look at it from a different perspective. Now, I always say you need an emergency response plan. What’s that? That’s our stop, drop, and roll of life — so you prepare.

If someone interrupts me, if the kids distract me, what am I going to do? What is my normal reaction? How am I going to react to it? So, if you already have these in your head and you’ve practiced, then you’re going to go back and do those things when they happen instead of falling into that, ” What, what do you want?” It’s like, ” I’m busy right now. I’ll talk to you later.”

You’re in an office and everybody wants to talk. They come to your door, and they want to talk to you and this is my concentration, time: “Oh, by the way, I’ll talk to you in an hour.”

These are things that you’ve already prefaced in your mind and in your heart. This is the way we just have to play hardball, and it’s hard, it really is. Do I always succeed? Absolutely not. But I do have that emergency response plan.

Jennifer Bourn:

I love the idea of that emergency response plan — that when things get a little bit hairy, you’ve got that to fall back on and pull from to support you — and really holding firm on the things that you said you wanted to get done.

Mischelle O’Neal:

Exactly. And in life it’s okay. We need to learn to be flexible. People who are successful, it’s 67% planning, but they also know how to be flexible. And it’s only when you know your destination that you’re able to determine which distractions will take you off course least.

Jennifer Bourn:

Now, I’m curious. You said you plan your day in the morning. I plan my day in the evening. The night before. Have you found sitting down and assessing what’s going on and taking that time to plan in the morning helps you immerse yourself and focus on the things for that day?

Mischelle O’Neal:

The night before I planned the mundane things, like what I’m going to wear, all those things Those are plans the night before. But for planning what I’m going to do that day? When I’m having that meditation and that prayer, things start opening up for me. And so, I use that time to help me plan my day. That helps me see things differently.

at night I’m tired. I’m not thinking straight. And my mind is still firing from everything that had happened that day. I need that sense of peace and calm to make the best decisions.

Jennifer Bourn:

So really that meditation and that time to really think about what is going on is what helps you better assess and plan what your day is going to look like?

Mischelle O’Neal:

Exactly. And it, it, it helps you best understand where you are that day, because how can you plan your day if you don’t know what’s going on with you? Sometimes we wake up, we don’t have enough sleep and we say, Ooh, this is not a good day to do this type of thing. And so, we have to make that adjustment and shift our plan.

Jennifer Bourn:

Got it. So really looking at and seting an intention of what you’re going to accomplish for the week, and then giving yourself some wiggle room to adjust which days you do those things has really been beneficial then for you and your clients? To be able to say, “I’m going to plan the work that is going to align with my best self today.”

Mischelle O’Neal:

Absolutely. What people fail to realize is we do our best work, when we’re in alignment to how we naturally flow.

Jennifer Bourn:

We all have been there where we sit down at our desk and we’re not quite feeling it. And everything is hard. Everything is taking longer than it should. We’re making maybe some mistakes that we shouldn’t be making, and we just think, I’m not even going to bother today. Things are taking so long I’ve just got to get up and walk away and come back to it.

And then there are the days we sit down and we’re in the groove and we are flying through our to-do’s and we’re doing work that we are proud of, and it just fires you up even more.

Trying to force it when you’re not feeling it. Is there anything worse?

Mischelle O’Neal:

Exactly. And there days that you do walk away and that day, you know what, I’m going to do this puzzle, I’m going to spend time with family. But that’s okay because the next day you’ll probably be on fire because you have taken that break. Even during the day is so important sometimes just to walk outside, get some fresh air, and listen to the birds.

A lot of people don’t know that there are actually three types of noises that you can listen to while you’re working. There’s the pink noise, the white noise, and the brown noise.

Jennifer Bourn:

Okay. I’ve never heard of this. Pink and brown noise is totally new to me.

Mischelle O’Neal:

Yes. It has to do with the decibel. Brown noise is my favorite because it’s the deeper noise. It sounds a little deeper. It’s like the rushing of the waterfall and sometimes I just have it in my ear and I’m just working and listening to the birds and hearing the waterfall. So, I use it to my advantage, but I know I need that to be in that space of peace and calmness to be most productive.

Jennifer Bourn:

So, what is pink noise?

Mischelle O’Neal:

Pink noise is between white and brown. It’s like rain. Each one of them has a different sound. I like the pink noise and the brown noise — the brown is the most calming for me. Peace and calmness are so important to my being productive. Some people need the music going, blasting hard rock, and that works for them, but I need spa music and brown noise.

Jennifer Bourn:

The music that I need changes depending on the work that I’m doing. Do you find that to be true as well?

Mischelle O’Neal:

Yes, it does. I need to be in a space of calmness because I’m so excited. So I need something to just kind of calm me down and say, okay girl, bring it in, bring it in.

Jennifer Bourn:

When I’m doing just pure design work, I am like, give me high energy, thumping, hip hop. I am all in. But when I’m doing writing and highly focused work, there is one album I listen to. It’s instrumental that’s never had any words, so I’m not distracted.

I just listen to that same album every single time, over and over and over and over and over. And now I think I’ve trained my brain — the first few chords of that first song start and I’m in there. I got it. Let’s do this.

Mischelle O’Neal:

Well, you’ve got to try the different noises — the pink and the brown.

Jennifer Bourn:

Yeah, I’ve never heard of this before now. I’m definitely interested and I’m going to have to go and check it out.

Now, you have got a free video series of three videos on the most effective approaches to preparing for the simplification of life and getting the most out of your day. Tell me about this video series that you put together.

Mischelle O’Neal:

It’s three ways of getting time. We need to really understand where we’re spending our time and how we’re spending our time. And I call it honest awareness. You have to really be dialed in and aware of what you do, who you are, and how you show up. And a lot of times we don’t want to do that because we don’t want to face the realities, or we don’t like who we are.

So, we have to really look at our time truths. We have to understand what we’re allowing to distract us because that’s what it boils down to. We’re allowing those distractions. We have to start looking at why we’re being distracted or why we’re allowing ourselves to be pulled off course.

And then we have to look at our time for restoration. We have to have time to fill our cups or we’re no good to anyone. And so, it’s really thinking about that, you know, because when we can’t pour, we can’t satisfy others, and that’s what we want to do. We want to satisfy them; we want them to walk away happy.

My goal every day is when you come into my presence that you leave out better than you came in. And so, if I’m not full, I can’t let you leave satisfied.

Jennifer Bourn:

I love that everything comes back to really fundamentally understanding yourself. When you understand yourself and why you make the decisions you do, why you tolerate the things you do, why you allow the things that you do, all of a sudden you can start recognizing things when they’re showing up before they become a problem.

And that effect, to be able to nip those things in the bud or realize that they’re showing up and cut them off before they become any bigger of an issue is a really, really powerful ability.

Now, when you work with your clients they often are serving from an empty cup, right? They’re not yet at the point where they are taking care of themselves first. For someone who’s in that position, what’s the best first step? How do you decide to take charge?

Mischelle O’Neal:

It depends where there are, but a lot of times we don’t see our value and so one of the earlier exercises that I take them through is really following the evidence. So, I physically make them write a list down.

What are the things that just come naturally for you that people say you’re good at? What are your strengths? What have you achieved? What is your knowledge?

And so, when they start seeing that, and this is on paper. When you start seeing that — anytime you find yourself falling back into those old things — all your papers remind yourself who you are.

Jennifer Bourn:

I adore that tip — just the action of writing it down and being able to look at what you’ve written down of what you’ve accomplished. But then having that as something to go back to when maybe your bad imposter syndrome is creeping in a little bit, maybe you’re having some of that doubt.

I know some people have talked about keeping testimonials and things, and a little compliments box, that when they’re having a bad day to go and take a look at those. That is in that same mindset of just reminding yourself how great you are and that you deserve to show up as that best self every day.

Mischelle O’Neal:

Exactly. I’m always saying at the end of my videos, “You are amazing.” Because you are and a lot of times, we just don’t see it. You have strengths that to you are so natural, you have no idea that’s something that I say is God-given. And so live in that, rest in that truth. We have to know the truth about ourselves.

Jennifer Bourn:

Oh, so good. So, I have a couple of questions before we wrap up. What tool have you discovered that you can’t live without — something you wish you’d found earlier?

Mischelle O’Neal:

It’s my big three it’s a Funnel Strings program that I use in my business for automation because there’s only one of me. And my One Note is like my central life — anything I need is in my OneNote and LastPass.

Jennifer Bourn:

Okay. That is so honest. What do you do to make sure that you stay in that positive headspace? You have meditation in the morning, you have that time to get your mind right, to set yourself up for success, but things creep in, and things don’t always go according to plan. How do you stay in that good headspace?

Mischelle O’Neal:

First. To get there I set my clock and I get out of bed. So, that in itself is really hard. So, it’s a commitment. First is having that commitment to set yourself up for success.

And then, how do I stay on track? I don’t just set it and forget it. I don’t just write it in the morning and then never look at it and try to remember it. The rest of the day, every time I find myself being distracted, I look and I remind myself, oh yeah, I’ve got to do that. Now, don’t get me wrong, there are sometimes things go to the next day, because a lot of times other people are involved, or things happen. But that pulls me back on track. And so that’s why that’s so important to me because it helps me stay focused.

I can walk away from it. I can go cook dinner and I can go because I know I got a couple of hours and then I’ll go back and finish three. So, it allows for that freedom to do other things. When you know only three big things you need to do, you knock them out quicker when you focus.

Focus on a simple task is so much better and quicker. There are times now because I’m really intent on focusing, that I finish early and I’m like, shouldn’t I be doing something?

Jennifer Bourn:

Oh, my gosh. I feel like that too. Sometimes I’m like, wait I should have more to do, right? I just got everything done. Oh my gosh. This is amazing.

Mischelle O’Neal:

And I’ve learned too, at night, there are times when you’re not getting anything accomplished. And so, I’ve learned to walk away at that time because I’ll get up the next morning and be on fire.

Jennifer Bourn:

I love the reminder to revisit the goals that you set. Don’t just write them down and ignore them, but revisit them anytime you feel yourself getting off track. Come back and look at what intentions you set and what goals you set and what you’re trying to work toward — and really honor that these are the three things that I said were important. These are the three things that I’m going to keep coming back to until they’re done.

Mischelle, we talked about this three-part video series that you have, where can they find you online? Where can they go check out your videos?

Mischelle O’Neal:

Well, two places, first meet.mischelleoneal.com if you just want to know what I’m doing and that’s where the strategies is — meet.mischelleoneal.com/strategies-gift. If you want to see my videos and everything, just go to MasteringYourMonday.Life.

Jennifer Bourn:

Fantastic. Thank you so much, Mischelle, for joining me today and sharing your journey of seeking satisfaction.

Mischelle O’Neal:

Thank you. I’ve really enjoyed our conversation.

Jennifer Bourn:

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Until next time, may you live inspired, embrace imperfection, seek satisfaction, and have a fabulous day.